English "Fluentzy" from Illiterate Teachers

Are there any native English speakers in the house?

This full page ad that ran on page 9 of The Hindu this morning typifies a growing industry of English language class hucksterism that is sweeping South Asia. Yes, English is the new global lingua franca, and yes, in order to cash in on the growing number of tech and outsourcing jobs you had better have a firm grasp of Anglo-Saxon grammar. But three month crash courses from billboard plastering bodegas is certainly not the way to go.

First the name. "Fluentzy"? You've got to be kidding me.

Do you really need that debilitating "Z"? All that casual marquee mistake does is prove that Prof. Kev Nair is only proficient enough to make his way passably on Internet chat rooms and SMS messages to pimple faced 14-year-olds.

Take a gander over to the website and you can get a full rundown of pedagogical tools, handbooks and links to dictionaries, but also several quotes from national newspapers that seem to endorse his product. Never mind that the quotes most likely emerge from the text of his own advertisements, I'm sure that anyone silly enough to sign up for his course has difficulty combing through his split infinitives and spectacular typos.